ClydeSight2.0!

presents...

The Back Fence Cat Club Cat Teleporter
(BFCCCT)

enhanced with Virtual Reality


Designed by Clyde Big Paws, Feline Unit 236.8v2

Clyde's best friend on the Internet is Henry Von Tudor. Henry, a very marvelous cat, is Grand Master of the famous Back Fence Cat Club.

Henry Von Tudor sporting his new Kalvin Klyde Kitty Klasses

Recently, the Club has begun a Teleporter Project to help cats and their humans with the unending problem of moving a cat from location to location, such as going to the vet, to a new home, to grandma's, or most importantly, to Back Fence Cat Club meetings!. The teleporter project, as best Clyde can figure it out, is an attempt to use modern technology to help solve the trauma so many felines feel during these distressing moves. As a member of the BFCC, Clyde got the call to help out, and this is his solution, the BFCCCT or Back Fence Cat Club Cat Teleporter. Below is a complete description of the device, and a nice, but pointless, animated gif.

The Latest in
Kitty Transport Technology
is Virtually Here!

The Back Fence Cat Club Cat Teleporter
is the ultimate in cat transport luxury and comfort.
Imagine, no more traumatic rides in the car,
no more yowling inside a cat carrier.
Now, thanks to modern technology, and Clyde,
your cat can travel in peace, quiet and comfort.

Especially designed by Clyde the cat, the BFCCCT looks like a normal cat carrier, is light and portable and made the from very rare, but easy-to-clean high grade polyester plastic. It is powered by an optional 600,000 volt generator, conveniently located somewhere outside the house, or in the next town. The BFCCCT is fully shielded to ensure no electrical transmission leakage, and contains numerous safety circuits to ensure that only a cat is teleported. A mouse and small dog teleportation option is available for an additional charge.

Special Bonus!

Clyde has created a VR model of the BFCCCT which you can download and play with. Yes, YOU can ride inside the teleporter just like your cat! You will find a link at the bottom of this page to take you to the download instructions. It's easy, it's fun, and most of the time, it works!

---

Cut-away view of the BFCCCT

How to Operate the Teleporter:

Note: Two teleporter units are required, one for transmission and one for reception. On the Internet this is called "Server and Client".

• Open the top of the Teleporter and place tempting food, treat, catnip or feline feremones in Food Bowl
  
  
• Enter the destination coordinates of the receiving teleporter on the Control Panel.
  
  
• Call kitty and make a big fuss, claiming that there is something inside the box. Kitty won't be able to resist entering to find out what interests you so much.
  
  
• Kitty rests on the Transport Pad, activating a time delay teleport cycle while eating tempting treat, slobbering over catnip, or rubbing passionately against feline feremones.
  
  
• Five seconds after activation, the Transducer emits pulses of high frequency de-materialization energy (HFDE).
  
  
• Kitty is de-materialized into a digital data stream preserving its cellular and molecular structure in a "maximum quality" JPEG file. (A GIF option is available.)
  
  
• Data stream is beamed at the speed of light directly to an earth satellite network (an ISDN Internet transmission line is optional) where it is re-directed to the receiving teleporter entered on the control panel.
  
  
• Kitty re-materializes inside receiving teleporter unit with no knowledge of teleportation.
  
  
• Kitty figures out that this was a trick and backs out of teleport unit.
  
  
• Kitty undegoes slight dis-orientation when noticing new location.
  
  
• Kitty licks paw and takes nap rather than admit to being fooled.

Okay, Clyde, take me to the Special VR Model Downloader!

"Clyde Science, harnessing feline power to
make a better tomorrow,
because we're napping today."


A nice, but pointless animated gif.

... [Follow Clyde to Days of Clyde's Lives]

Clyde. Take Me Home!

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